


Cringe-ass angst Evan/reader fic

by Yearnmien



Category: Everyman HYBRID
Genre: F/M, I mean really, M/M, Other, and self deprecation, father I crave ANGST, just generally not a good view of himself, not for any reason its just a good song, stream tongues and teeth by the crane wives, uh, uhhhhh tw for self blame, we out here on that bullshit, yeah thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24863320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yearnmien/pseuds/Yearnmien
Summary: Sometimes you have to wonder what caused things. What did you do to deserve this? Evan wonders about that a lot.--TW there's gonna be,,,a good deal of self blame and self deprecation
Relationships: Evan (Everyman HYBRID)/Reader
Kudos: 6





	Cringe-ass angst Evan/reader fic

The rain would’ve been calming if it weren’t for the suffocating aura of messy emotions, of exhaustion. You were -for the most part- decent, you hadn’t gotten hurt (yet at least, though the man laying on you stated millions of times he’d never let that happen) and..the mental and emotional torment was still in the early stages of really settling in. Your eyes were fixated on the trees outside of the window, droplets dripping off of the branches that blended in perfectly with the droplets falling from the darkened, clouded sky. Aside from the pitter-patter of rain hitting the roof there wasn’t much sound, save for the occasional creak of the house or someone moving something downstairs.

He had his head on your shoulder, a hand entangled with one of your own, him fidgeting with and brushing his thumb over the side of it. He’d been silent since he’d walked in but you could tell something was off immediately, even if he had said something. Evan was a charismatic man, it wasn’t a brave or particularly shocking statement, so it didn’t take a world renowned detective to figure out something was wrong when he was anything but that. Fatigue and ceaseless thoughts of worry radiated off of him the same way the sun does light, strong and nearly overwhelming. 

He’d walked in quietly, your gaze shifting to him as you’d expected you’d be sitting on his bed alone a while longer. He kept his silence as he’d practically shuffled over, hesitating for a moment before he’d laid down next to you. There was a brief pause for a few moments as his stare never left the ceiling, while yours never left him, as though you’d find the answer for his odd behaviour written somewhere on his pale skin. Needless to say, you didn’t.

A sigh had tumbled from out between your lips before you reached over and grabbed his hand, tugging on it gently in your direction, a silent request. He once again seemed hesitant but the gesture managed to sever whatever staring contest was held between him and the ivory ceiling. He’d followed after you, which led you to now, with his face hidden in the crook of your neck, hands intertwined, and a lack of any words spoken. 

“Is something wrong?” You finally questioned, voice quiet from neglect. It might’ve seemed like a dumb question considering you already knew there most definitely was but..it seemed like a good way to start the conversation.

He thought on that question for a good few moments, you practically heard the debate between him and his pride as he thought about telling you the truth or lying. 

“No, I’m just..exhausted, from everything,” he finally answered, it was at least somewhat of the truth so..you’d take that little inkling of information.

“You’re sure that’s all?” You pressed a bit further, concern present in the tone of your voice, he wished it wasn’t. 

He paused for another few moments, starting only to cut himself off abruptly. “I just..I don’t understand what the fuck we did to deserve any of this. I mean, we aren’t great, maybe we aren’t even good, but..does that really warrant..whatever the fuck that thing is coming after us?”

You were about to chime in before he’d continued speaking.

“I..there’s no way that it’s just by chance but..I can’t think of what would’ve set that thing off. It has to be because of..of something we did,” he paused to sit up, letting you look at him a bit better, “That and I just..why do you care so much? Why’re you even here? You could be living a normal life, you could have friends who don’t have to worry about being stalked by monsters, you could date someone who’s fucking normal.”

Those were the words that made your throat feel tight, the ones that made your gut churn and you want to get sick. “Evan, what’re you talking about?”

“You don’t have to deal with this. You don’t have to deal with fearing for your life. You don’t have to get yourself into this but you are, and I just..I can’t figure out what could ever make someone do that to themselves,” he chuckled dryly, running a hand through his hair.

You couldn’t help but frown at that, brows furrowing in pity sewn in with worry, “Hon, why’re you saying that? You know that I love you and I wouldn’t just..throw you away for some normal basic life. I..I like that my life is more chaotic with you.”

He scoffed a bit at that, “You don’t have to lie to me you know. I know that you’re just saying that because you feel bad. I know you’re just staying because you don’t wanna hurt me or some shit.”

Before you could retort and deny his claims he kept going, tears starting to fall freely, “How do you know I’m not the problem? How do you know that I won’t hurt you? I mean, if I never fucking talked to you, you wouldn’t be stuck in this mess. I could’ve just left you be, I could’ve just let you life your life but I had to fuck it up for you too.”

There was another pause as you just stared at him, stared at how he’d devolved into such a mess. He hid his face behind his hands, hunched over as his shoulders shook with every little sob he tried desperately to choke back, every sob he tried to tie back down and hide away from you once more. Eventually you snapped out of your daze, crawling forward and doing your best to wrap your arms around him and pull him close to your chest. He gave in, allowing you to hold him despite however much the recesses of his mind told him to push you away and run. 

His hands came away from his face as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, clutching the back of your shirt for life, him crying into the material of your shirt. Nobody spoke once more as you kept him close, moving a hand to the back of his head as you held him there. Eventually his sobs calmed down enough that he could murmur apologies over and over, you sighing and pulling away just enough to look at him again. He looked back at you, his eyes red and the occasional tear falling from them still, he was a mess. 

You’d leaned forward a bit, kissing his forehead gently and moving your hands to cup the sides of his face, him grabbing one of your wrists gently. You weren’t even sure of what to say, of where to start on how you’d help him out. 

“Evan, even if you don’t think I do, I love you so, so fucking much. We could be stuck on some island with starving lions and nothing to protect ourselves and I’d still wanna be there if it meant I could stay by your side. I..I know I can’t make things better, I know I can’t fix everything that hurts in a day but..I still wanna try and help you, no matter how long that takes, because I care about you,” you eventually decided on.

You pulled him close again, your hand finding one of his and holding onto it gently. A silence followed, this one lighter and more comfortable. 

“You’re wrong you know..” Evan started, you pulling away once again, about to say something before you saw him smile softly. “You do make things better, for me at least.”

You couldn’t help but snicker a small bit at that, a smile finding its way on your lips, “Yeah yeah, love you too, dork.”


End file.
